Being a student is greaterrible.

Having just given a top notch presentation for my Thursday night graduate course, which I took an appropriate amount of time to prepare and in which I was well invested, and having also survived a mediocre presentation for a project I procrastinated on terribly, and with three large assignments still to complete, I am strongly reminded of all of the reasons I loved/loathed college. In many ways I have improved as a student and been able to subdue bad habits. However, it was over two years since I had last been in college and my discipline was pretty darn rusty. I found myself watching videos, reading/listening to books, and growing ever more restless as my deadline approached. I don’t know what the Hell is the matter with me! I gave myself time to accomplish what I needed to do and then I squandered it. I should be better than this. I should be past this.
I enjoyed my classes prodigiously. I learned a lot of new and useful things (techniques, frameworks, background knowledge) that I can put to good use if I ever get my own classroom again. And I enjoyed the atmosphere of being with fellow teachers who were all there to learn more and grow. I just wish the final products I generated for some of those classes were representative of the value I placed in them.
I now have an opportunity to take a class this summer that would be very useful about applied behavior analysis. I’ve signed up for it but don’t know if I am ultimately going to go through with it (I have until May 22nd to decide because that is when payment is due!). There are personal issues revolving around my taking this class that have nothing to do with the class itself or the logic in taking it. As a teacher I need to complete 24 post graduate college credits in order to keep my teaching certificate. After this semester I’ll have 9 completed and if I do this one it’ll become 12 done and 12 to go. Hopefully if I decide to take the course this summer, my disgust at the resurfacing of my bad habits and the rapid and concentrated nature of the course will keep me focused and I can get as much out of it as possible.

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